frantic first day
Ah, the first day of term. With six weeks off, there’s plenty of time to get everything organised so that this day can start totally smoothly, right? With everything where it should be and everyone knowing exactly what to do and when? Yes?
Ummmm:
“Where’s my jumper?”
“I can’t find my P.E kit!”
“Did you sort out dinner money for this term?”
“How much is it?.. and where’s the cheque book?”
“Argh, my school bag’s full of mould!”
“My trousers are too big!”
“My shoes are too small!”
“Seriously, where’s the cheque book?!”
“Has anyone seen my hairbrush?”
“Who ate all the shreddies?!”
“WHERE’S THE FLIPPING CHEQUE BOOK?!!”
“Why are you lying on the floor in just your pants?! We need to go in five minutes!!”
“Oh no, smallest boy was supposed to be collecting mementos of his summer in this small paper bag for the last six weeks! The bag’s empty!”
“Quick, COLLECT MEMENTOS!!!”
“Yes, that lego brick will do – It’s a memory! And that pebble!”
“Why do we have five cheque books here and NONE OF THEM HAVE ANY ACTUAL CHEQUES IN THEM?!!”
“Where’s my coat?”
“Who stole my trainers?”
“There’s a spider in my shoe!”
“RIGHT! Is everyone ready with teeth brushed and shoes on and have you all been to the loo and, wait, WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT WEARING ANY TROUSERS?!”
“Put these on, no they’re not scratchy they’re just new… ok, maybe they’re new and scratchy but you’ll stop noticing soon.”
“ARGH!”
“Ok, is everyone ready?! Finally? Because if we leave now we might just about not be late!”
“Quick, take a ‘Back to School’ photo!”
“I can’t, those two are already in the car and this one’s crying and anyway there’s no time for that.”
“Oh, just take it anyway, it’s ‘capturing a moment’ right? That’s what it’s all about!”
…
And that about sums things up. Kudos to any of you who managed a seamlessly-perfect first morning back. As you can see, we don’t fall into that category… but, hey, we made it to school on time.
(And we even found the right cheque book.)
